


The Alternative to Not Not Caring

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Crazy Love [12]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I just…no one has ever cared about me the way you do, Aaron.  I'm scared of losing it.  And telling you that probably makes me sound desperate or crazy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Alternative to Not Not Caring

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told in the **Thicker than Water** universe, where the BAU are kids and teens. It was writing for the alphabet meme and [](http://vc-forever.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://vc-forever.livejournal.com/)**vc_forever** ’s prompt of **B is for bubble**. This is Criminal Minds fic #675.

“OK, now I see why Spencer loves this so much.”

“What?” she giggled.

“Spencer takes a bath every night, without fail. I'm starting to see the value of it.”

“Our bath is a little bit different.”

“A little bit yeah, but the sentiment is still the same.”

It was 10am on a rainy Sunday morning and Aaron Hotchner was taking a bath. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done something like that. The initial feeling evoked memories of his mother and she had been dead since he was six years old. Approaching his 17th birthday with rapidity, Hotch knew it had been a long time. But this was definitely his first bubble bath. He couldn’t think of anyone that he’d rather share it with.

“I take baths all the time.” Megan said, wrapping her arms around him.

“You told me that once.”

“Its relaxing to come in here at night, make the water as hot as I can, light some candles, and turn off all the lights. Sometimes I play Schubert, Yo-Yo Ma, or Placido Domingo and just go far away in my head. Today I want to be right here.”

“Me too.” Hotch kissed her. He could hardly describe the wonderful feeling of being straddled by a beautiful girl in a bathtub. This kinda thing didn’t happen to him, it happened to guys like Hugh Hefner. “I want you to be here too.”

“We get to share a first. I’ve never taken a bath with anyone before.”

Megan didn’t have many firsts left in her life. Just being able to have one with Hotch was awesome. She loved waking up with him this morning, the soft rain on her window a backdrop to the peaceful breathing of his sleep.

She’d watched him for at least 15 minutes before kissing him awake. She smiled when he pulled her into his arms, wanting to hold onto both her and sleep. He was only able to hold onto one and soon Hotch opened his eyes. The clouds outside did nothing to help him feel more alive.

“We should take a bath.” She whispered, giving him another morning kiss.

“Huh?’’ he was still a little dazed and where she was touching him didn’t help his comprehension much.

“I'm in the mood for a bath before breakfast, what about you?”

“Um…OK.”

Hotch hardly knew what he was agreeing to but he agreed anyway. He’d come to Megan’s last night after closing Kassmeyer’s. Her mother was gone, no big surprise, so they were just going to hang out and watch movies. Megan had picked out _2001_ and _Rear Window_. Hotch had never seen _2001_ so he kicked off his shoes and used the cordless phone to call their favorite Chinese place for takeout.

_“Is this a scary movie or a sci-fi movie?” he asked._

“Are you afraid of scary movies?” she countered.

“No.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“I'm not afraid.” Hotch replied.

“Good.” She jumped in his lap holding a disposable camera. “Let’s take some pictures.”

“Are we gonna keep all of our clothes on?” Hotch asked, wrapping his arms around her.

“If you insist.” Megan rolled her eyes playfully.

“It'll be better for my eventual Senate run.”

“Start with the House first and then you can get the nudie pic controversy over with. By the time you run for Senate, it'll be old hat.”

“That’s your solution?” Hotch grinned as he asked.

“I think it’s a good one.” Megan smiled too.

“I’m thinking not so much.”

He gently took the camera from her hand, rolling the wheel until it was at one. Megan reached over and turned on the end table lamp so they could have more light.

“How many do you want to take?” Hotch asked.

“Let’s go until we run out of film or the food gets here, whichever comes first.”

He thought that was a fine idea. So they took the goofy couple shots with happy smiles, tongues out, bunny ears behind each other’s heads, and things like that. They took a few kissing and Megan wasn’t above taking more provocative shots where the last thing on Hotch’s mind was Chinese food and movies. As he clicked off the last of the 36 shots, the doorman called to announce that the delivery guy had arrived. Hotch told him to send him up. It was time to relax and have a nice evening in.

“This isn’t my first first with you.” Hotch said, a happy sigh coming from his belly as Megan ran her wet fingers through his hair.

“I didn’t say that. I said it was our first first together. It’s not your first first with me?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “You're the first girl that…”

“Don’t say I'm the first girl you slept with. I know you weren't a virgin, Aaron.”

“I wasn’t going to say that. I was gonna say…” he leaned and whispered something in her ear. Hotch liked the way Megan giggled when she heard it.

“Seriously?” She looked into his hazel eyes; she could tell if he was lying. Hotch wasn’t the lying kind but you just never knew with men. They always had a way of surprising you in the worst ways.

“Yes, I'm serious; and I'm glad you were my first.”

“Do you want me to do it right now?”

Hotch found it very difficult to say no to that kind of attention. He also thought it might be difficult for Megan to breathe under water and told her so. There was no point in risking her life for a few sexual kicks. She was more important to him than that.

“Well, we can just do it the old-fashioned way.” she grinned as her hand slipped under the water and took gentle hold of him.

“Mmm, that feels really good.” Hotch’s head lolled back on the rim of the tub.

“I like making you feel good, Aaron.”

“I like making you feel good too.” he replied. She was surprised when he took her hand and held it in his. “That’s what this relationship is about for me. We make each other feel good. It’s not just about those special things you do for me. When I make you happy it’s a great feeling. When I see you smile or make you laugh, even if it’s at me and not with me…I'm a happy guy.”

“Sometimes I fear that none of this is real.” Megan replied. Her tone wasn’t angry or sad it was just neutral. It was as if she thought about it a lot but finally had the courage to say it aloud.

“It’s as real as this bubble bath.”

“I just…no one has ever cared about me the way you do, Aaron. I'm scared of losing it. And telling you that probably makes me sound desperate or crazy.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Hotch shook his head and kissed her. “When you care about people you always fear losing them. The alternative is not to not care about people.”

“What's the alternative?” Megan asked. Suddenly sex was the last thing on her mind, which was amazing considering where they were. Hell, it was amazing not even considering where they were.

“You have to hold on to what you care about. You have to remember to tell the people you love that you love them. You have to sometimes let go of fear and risk stuff because the feelings are so awesome, even if they don’t last.”

“See, that’s the part I don’t like.”

“I know.” He kissed her nose. “None of us like that part. But you like this right...me and you in the bathtub.”

“Oh c'mon, that’s a no-brainer, Hotch.”

He smiled, hugging her close. Hotch loved the way her body felt on his; loved the way she fit so perfectly in his arms or under his arm or in all the curves of him. Hotch still wasn’t sure if that was love, but it was something. It was something he never truly felt before with anyone but Jason.

And it had been different with them because it wasn’t passion between them but something so strong it could never be broken. The idea that he could have that with Megan scared him to death. It also made him feel strong. Why did everything have to be so wishy-washy? Something needed to be concrete and definite. Hotch knew feelings were never going to be that way.

“Tell me something, Aaron Hotchner.” She whispered in his ear.

“What?”

“Anything, I don’t care. Just tell me something.”

“I really, really, really like you.” he said.

“Holy shit, that’s a ringing endorsement.” Megan laughed.

“It’s true.”

“I really, really, really like you too. I'm scared but I do.”

“We’ll hold onto each other. Life isn’t so scary when you have someone by your side.”

“You’ve got seven people by your side.” She replied. “That’s like a basketball team.”

“And you’ve got me.” Hotch said.

“Boy Aaron, I don’t know if you know what you're getting yourself into.”

“It’s just a bathtub,” Hotch smiled. “It’s not so scary.”

“Cute.” Megan pinched him. “C'mon, I’ll make some breakfast and then we’ll go for a walk.”

“You wanna go for a walk in the rain?” he asked, missing her when she climbed out of the tub and grabbed a towel to dry off.

“Yeah; I love being outside in this weather.” Wrapping the towel around her, Megan held out her hands. “Up you go.”

Grinning, dimples poking holes in his cheeks, Hotch took her hands. He got out of the tub and accepted the towel she offered. They would dry off, have some breakfast, and spend most of the day together. Yeah, this was something alright…it was something special. Hotch sensed another first on the horizon. He took a deep breath, letting the wave of fear and nausea pass over him. It did, but all the other feelings remained.

***

  



End file.
